Pro-Life Blogger Fails to Recognize Satire, Attacks The Onion

The poor, ignorant soul named Pete who runs March Together For Life: Murder without conscience, a pro-life blog whose tagline is “We will end abortion through our unity and the Monthly Call for Life,” attacked satirical Web site The Onion for its article I’m Totally Psyched About This Abortion, which contains several choice quotes, including:

“Like I said, my decision to terminate my pregnancy isn’t for lack of hearing the opposing view. I’m exposed to pro-life messages all the time—on billboards, in magazines and on television. And I certainly didn’t miss that angry crowd of picketers shouting at me as I was happily skipping to the women’s health clinic to make the appointment for my big day. Those pro-life activists made it pretty clear that, unlike me, they actually think abortion is bad and to be avoided. Are they nuts? Abortion is the best!

As I pushed my way through the crowd, one of the picketers yelled, “How could you do this? How could you kill a child?” What? It’s more like, “How could I wait this long?” It wasn’t until now that I was lucky enough to be pregnant with a child I had no means to support. I tell you, for a long time, I thought it would never happen to me!

So, to all of you pro-lifers who are trying to rain on my parade, keep it to yourself, because I don’t have the time for that kind of negativity. I’ve got an abortion to plan, and I just know it’s going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever!”

Here’s some of Pete’s commentary on the article:

“To sum it up, Miss Weber said:

“I realize there are people who will criticize me, calling me selfish and immature because I took “the easy way out.” I realize there are those who will condemn me to hell for what I’m about to do. Well, I don’t care what they say: It’s worth it for all the fun and laughs I’m going to have at the clinic. So listen up, world: I’m pro-abortion… and I love it! See you at my post-abortion party, everybody!”

Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally. That does make you an admitted murderer. I’m not going to “condemn you to hell”, I’m going to pray for your forgiveness and for the suffering which you will endure when you realize what you have done. Every baby you see from that moment on is going to wake you up to the realization that you killed your child.”

Now, Pete tried to defend himself a few days later, saying that he encounters people just like her when he’s out picketing and protesting at clinics. He then ends his defense by saying:

Satire? Was the article aiming at the women who have the abortions or the people who believe it is better to save lives than kill them?

Hmm, let’s look up the term satire:“witty language used to convey insults or scorn; ‘he used sarcasm to upset his opponent’”

Either way, I think I did a good job of turning the “satire” right back at them, don’t you?

Sorry, Pete. People like you are so wound up, you wouldn’t know satire if it bit you in the ass. You just look even more clueless than you did in your original article. It’s like that Mac vs. PC ad where the PC Guy keeps saying “touché.”

44 Frames of Fame

I was watching Rapid Fire starring Brandon Lee on Cinemax the other night, mainly because I worked as an extra on the film when I was in college. We were supposed to be students at a rally commemorating the Tiananmen Square massacre and the fight for democracy in China, and we spent the day chanting “Free China Now! Free China Now!” I originally thought that I wasn’t in the background when I saw it originally, but through the magic of TiVo and slow motion, I was able to capture these still frames:

That’s me in the upper-right corner in the green and purple rugby shirt with the white collar.

And there I am walking across the frame between Dustin Nguyen of 21 Jumpstreet fame and Brandon Lee.

FLASHBACK: Clinton and Me

In 1992, MTV was looking for college students for its first-ever “Choose or Lose” Election special, featuring then-Gov. Bill Clinton (D), Arkansas. It was going to be my first Presidential election, and I jumped at the opportunity to attend. At a soundstage in Santa Monica, CA, the future President fielded questions from many of the students in attendance, including mine!

Click on the picture below to watch the video:

Watching this again made me nostalgic for the days when a President could do a news conference without looking like a complete and total idiot (even when he was behaving like one).

Jake Gyllenhaal Sells out Brokeback Mountain

What does Brokeback Mountain’s success really mean for gay America, if it means anything at all? Check out this editorial by Larry Gross at TruthDig.com called “Year of the Queer: Hollywood and Homosexuality.” It’s long, but it’s an excellent read, examining the truth about gays and their “place” in Hollywood. Here’s a hint, Hollywood’s not as liberal as you might think.

One disturbing quote from the story comes from noneother than one of the film’s stars, Jake Gyllenhaal, who plays Jack Twist opposite Heath Ledger’s Ennis Del Mar:

“My character could have been played by a woman and it would have made just as much sense.” Apparently not having read any of the promotional material on the film, the actor says that he doesn’t believe Ennis and Jack are gay: “I approached the story believing that these are actually straight guys who fall in love,” he says. “That’s how I related to the material. These are two straight guys who develop this love, this bond. Love binds you, and you see these guys pulling and pulling and tugging and trying to figure out what they want, and what they will allow themselves to have.”

Two straight guys who “develop this love, this bond”? WTF is that? Most straight guys who develop bonds with other straight guys end up hanging out, drinking beers, watching football, stuff like that. Plus it completely ignores the fact that these two men will do almost anything to be together and when they do, they greet each other with long, passionate kisses. That doesn’t sound very straight to me.

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

The irony of Jake’s quote is that he forgets that his character, Jack Twist, was the one who a) constantly nagging Ennis about having their own ranch together, just the two of them, so they can “build a great life,” b) tells Ennis, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” (the most famous and parodied quote in the movie), and c) seeks out other men (not his wife) to fulfill his sexual needs when he can’t be with Ennis, a habit that eventually leads to his demise. Again, these actions on Jack’s part aren’t things straight guys do when they “bond” with other guys. (I know I don’t do this with my friends…and my best friend is gay!)

Ennis on the other hand is realistic about not only who he is, but also the world he lives in, a world where two men can’t be together without the world crashing down on them, at least in rural Wyoming in the 70s, so he never completely gives himself to Jack the way Jack lays everything on the line for Ennis.

So for Jake Gyllenhaal to make a comment like that is either indicative of the inherent homophobia that exists within even seamingly well-meaning people, or more honestly, it represents Hollywood’s real fear of being associated with anything gay, even when you star in a movie that outlines how beautiful and devastating love between two people can be.

(If the last sentence was confusing, read the article mentioned above to fully understand what I mean.)

“…with great power comes great responsibility”

Spiderman’s credo? Well, yeah, but Filipino national hero Manny Pacquiao uttered these words after beating Erik Morales for the junior lightweight championship on Saturday night at the Thomas and Mack Center in Las Vegas. For the record, the full quote from the AP story at ESPN.com is:

“I’m thankful to God for giving me great power, but with great power comes great responsibility,” said Pacquiao, who pelted Morales with punches from all angles and gave him the worst beating of his career.”

Now, I’m glad he won and everything, but co-opting Spiderman after you just won the title? That’s one of the corniest things I’ve ever heard. What if he bit Superman and said, “I’m thankful to God for giving me great power, and I’m going to use that power to fight for truth, justice and the American way.”

I love my people!

Hey Hey! Hey Ho! Comic Sans has got to go!

I’ll admit it, I’m a font snob. So is wife, who is a graphic designer. In fact, most people I know that know anything about graphic design hate Comic Sans. Well, this story, written by the author of the font, was posted on Digg.com and details how Comic Sans was created for Microsoft Bob and that its ascendance in popularity was basically an accident.

But the real upside of this story is that I discovered this awesome Web site, BanComicSans.com… Enjoy!

(I know it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, and I came up with this gem! )

Rings Around Uranus! Rings Around Uranus!

Here’s the story, but honestly, other than a funny headline…I got nothin’.

More Rings Are Found Around Planet Uranus.

“Last Christmas” is NOT a Christmas Song!

It’s one thing to go into a mall, store or whatever and hear Christmas music this time of the year, but the one song I cannot stand is “Last Christmas” by Wham! because it’s not a bloody Christmas song. Here are the lyrics, but to summarize, “Last Christmas” is about some poor sap who gave a girl (or guy in George Michael’s case) his heart and “the very next day” she “gave it away.”

What does this really have to do with Christmas? It could have easily been written “Last New Year’s,” “Last Easter” or even “Last Wednesday” and it still would have made sense. The song doesn’t talk about the birth of Jesus or even the more secular aspects of Christmas, like snow, snowmen, jingling bells, chestnuts on an open fire. The only thing remotely related to Christmas is about “giving” away his heart. It doesn’t even seem like he meant that much to her, that she might have been some cheap fling or something since he says in the chorus, “This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special.” But I attribute this gaping plot hole in the song to George’s dreadful songwriting. This was in his Wham! days, and while he wrote some good music with Wham!, “Listen Without Prejudice, Vol. 1″ is his strongest songwriting in my opinion.

The fact that Hillary Duff also covered this song solidifies its status as absolute crap.

My Wife is Obsessed With Wentworth Miller

He’s the star of Fox’s Prison Break. She says she likes him because he was an English Lit major and he’s “dorky” because he sang in an acappela choir at Princeton.

I guess I should let it slide since I have my neverending list of hot female celebrities and she really only has Went. Thankfully, she’s not as bad as these folks over at the Television Without Pity forums.